Waiting for First Light: My Ongoing Battle with PTSD

A piercing memoirMost of us are well acquainted with Rom o Dallaire especially Canadians and how he devoted his heart and soul to his work This former Canadian senator, humanitarian and lieutenant general who was the military commander of the UN during the Rwanda genocide in 1994 reminds us in his account how he will seek to explore what the events have done to him since he came back The genocide is fully described in an early book Shake Hands with the Devil and a subsequent book They Fight Like [...]

Rwanda will never end and I will never be free I know there is no remedy for what I saw, what I did and did not do, during those three months of hell There are no painkillers for the angst, the guilt, and the excruciating vividness of that time and place The annual ritual of Rwanda in its foulest of times is the curse of the survivor Each night I take my pills, and try to sleep with the hope that I will not awaken again amidst the roaming souls who still wander the hills of Rwanda, asking me to [...]

It is impossible not to admire, even revere, Romeo Dallaire Witness to the Rwandan genocide as the leader of UNAMIR, the peacekeeping mission to Rwanda in the early 1990s, Dallaire tried to convince the rest of the world to intervene to stop the killing before it had begun The world refused to listen or respond, preferring to dismiss the problems in Rwanda as evidence of ongoing African primitive tribalism Still, Dallaire worked tirelessly to save the lives he could until it became clear that h [...]

Reading Rom o Dallaire s book about his experience of excruciating trauma and its relentless aftermath I wonder if there is an after The torment doesn t end, within And after the Rwandan genocide of 1994, Rom o was further broken by his own strength paradoxically, by his principles and the tormenting resilience that held him so taut, so duty bound, present to the end and beyond Most of all, he was betrayed by the military and humanitarian institutions that he had served for most of his life, aba [...]

In the closing chapter of his book about how he has battled PTSD since returning from his hellish UN mission a mission that was tasked to supervise the Rwandan genocide without be able to stop it retired General Dallaire asks his reading audience if they can still respect him since now he has revealed how far he has fallen from his original image of the ideal soldier Monsieur Dallaire, as a Canadian citizen who has observed your dedication to Canada and the international community, who has notic [...]

This is the third book by retired lieutenant general Romeo Dallaire and it is fascinating It should be noted that I collect great Canadians and it s because Dallaire so impressed me that I started and that I have read all of his books and saw him when he came to speak at Memorial University of Newfoundland The writing in this book is so clear and concise that it makes for an easy read A necessity when one considers how difficult it can be to read anyone s personal account of their mental health [...]

This is a must read, though it is highly challenging book to read It is raw, real and I am so grateful for the level of honesty and vulnerability Dallaire demonstrated in these pages This book and the wisdom he shares has the potential to change lives PTSD is real It can be a deeply misunderstood condition but there is a tremendous number of people researching it, creating treatments and creating change The stigma needs to go, and we as a community need to make trauma healing a priority Lives de [...]

Simply, we should be proud to call Rom o Dallaire Canadian A great Canadian, who, in this book, has publicly fought a personal battle in the hopes that others won t have to.

This book made it to the Canada Reads long list, but not the short list But it should be required reading for every Canadian about the effects of trauma on the peacekeepers we send to war zones, and the effects of trauma on their families as well and about how little we are doing about it Change is coming slowly, but ever so slowly.

I thought I had some understanding of the causes and effects of PTSD This book very much broadened it That Romeo Dallaire has been able to accomplish so much, throughout his suffering, in his advocacy for better care for mentally and morally injured veterans and for an end to the use of child soldiers, and yet laments that he has not and will never be able to do enough, is astounding One thing that surprised me about this book the first I ve read by Dallaire but it won t be the last is how very [...]

It s fairly impossible for anyone who s met or cared for someone battling PTSD symptoms to write an unbiased review of this book Add to that, I ve had the pleasure of meeting Dallaire at one of his innumerable talks That disclaimer aside, Dallaire writes with the brutal honesty that he s known for an honesty that s critically important for what the book takes on The gut wrenching emotion of it comes and goes, but it hits hard when it does, and I suspect all the so the closer the reader is to PT [...]

This is a hard book to read but absolutely worth it It s brutally honest and is his recollection of events immediately following his return from Rwanda My heart broken many times and I cried How this brave man is still alive I have no idea but clearly he is here for a purpose We need to do better to support our military and first responders after they have been through occupational stress The times are changing and it is no longer a requirement to put it in the past and never speak about what is [...]

I am still and always mired in the anguish of the genocide, and heartbreak over a world that still doesn t seem to care much about its most vulnerable people This book resonates for so many different reasons and topics Regardless of what your interest was in picking it up, you will get so much out of it.

Excellent book Romeo Dallaire is an amazing man He has witnessed autrocities that we can t possibly comprehend We need to listen to this man, both in terms of the realities of PTSD and the Rwandan genocide Shedding light on these issues is an important step towards helping individuals and the world community.

I read the last third of this book with tears in my eyes The struggle that Dallaire went through upon his return with Rwanda is heartbreaking He vividly accounts his fight against depression, PTSD, suicide attempts, overworking, and the frustration at the system for how much it underestimates mental trauma in our Armed Forces Talking about his anger at politics during his time in the Senate was particularly touching me to as I ve been on the front lines there and see how frustrating it is to get [...]

I could not put this book down I was shocked by Mr Dallaire s courage and frankness in outlining the effects that PTSD had on his life The absolute chaos of his nights and the organized frenzy of his days was heartbreaking At several times during my read, I had to just stop and absorb what he was shining light on I know I will think back to this book and his experiences in life many times He left me wondering what on earth I was accomplishing with my lifeI know this was not his purpose He is suc [...]

Before picking up this book, I thought I was familiar with PTSD and its causes, but had no real idea what living with PTSD actually looked like Romeo Dallaire is brutally honest and forthright as he tells us of his return to normal life , following three months of living hell as a peacekeeper during the Rwandan genocide At a time when PTSD was not acknowledged in Canada, war veterans with no physical injuries were expected to reintegrate into society unassisted Dallaire s story shows the long la [...]

Raw, vivid, relentless this book is an eye opener on the topic of PTSD, its causes, its effects, its affects and its actions on not only the injured but on his social lifeline as well.Kudos to LGen Dallaire for bringing forth such a personal and difficult topic to the forefront.

A must read for anyone wanting to understand or working with victims of PTSD.

I couldn t putthis down and cried all the way through Romeo Dallaire has always been a hero to me understanding the enormity of his illness is very sobering The last part of the book speaks to why we are peacekeepers We just Re and do the right thing That is what I am proud of as A Canadian He is my hero as he keeps on striving for what is better despite the difficulties.

LGen Dallaire bares his soul in this powerful description of his battle with PTSD A must read for any military leader and anyone who knows someone dealing with PTSD.

This is the fourth book that I have read from the CBC Canada Reads 2017 Longlist, and probably the first one that I can see actually making it into the shortlist Rom o Dallaire is a retired Canadian Army general, and a former senator He was in command of a Canadian peacekeeping mission in Rwanda during the genocide in the 90s This book is about the effect that the horrible, horrible things that happened in Rwanda have had on the rest of his life ever since he came home.I chose this book because [...]

Raw and real M o nevers disappoints with the intensity of his emotions This was a tough read for me as it really hits home Not easy living with the effects if PTSD happy that the stigma around it is starting to be lifted

Sometimes books don t grab me the same way they do others I was doomed from the start of this one I think because I knew some of what the images that I was going to manufacture in my head were going to do to me The horrendous sights that the author was undoubtedly going to describe were going to make me want to turn off the outside world and bury my head in the sand ignorance is bliss, right I read the entire book and I can easily see how it relates to the oftentimes horrible events that have an [...]

While this book was an incredibly interesting account of Dallaire s life since the Rwandan genocide, I had hoped that it would focus than it did on his struggles with PTSD and PTSD broadly While this was woven in throughout the book, it focused on a chronology of everything Dallaire has done since he returned from Rwanda While this was all very interesting, I didn t learn as much as I had hoped about PTSD.

Mr Dallaire is a Canadian hero From his service in the Canadian Forces, his horrific time in Rwanda, to his tenure as a Senator in Canadian government and his ongoing fight for the legitimization of PTSD as an actual injury a true Canadian hero.Not one to shirk his responsibilities, he writes his story as painfully and as unapologetically as he can And it is heartbreaking That anyone who chose to serve their country should be abandoned when they return home injured is a shame whether that injury [...]

I read Shake Hands with the Devil a number of years ago, and at the time I was astonished and deeply affected by the horrors Romeo Dallaire witnessed It also made me angry that so little was done by the civilized Western world This book amped up my outrage Dallaire is so painfully honest about his struggles with PTSD that it almost brings me to tears And to think that the Canadian government is still trying to figure out what to do with solders who have PTSD the answers are out there and Romeo D [...]

Having already read Shake Hands With The Devil and studying the Rwandan genocide in school, I picked up Dallaire s new memoir already feeling familiar with his struggles and comfortable with his writing.Instead, Waiting For First Light, while a short 200 pages, was one of the hardest things I ve ever read Dallaire is at his most candid about his struggles, and it thoroughly shook me There were times when I had to put the book down and walk away Even , there were times I thought I d never finish [...]

This book is life changing Aside from what I learned about PTSD and I ve never learned about it from a first person perspective reading this book has lead to shifts in the way I see global conflict I ve revised my opinion on the military and its operations, primarily because the book discusses the limitations placed upon the military by the governments in power, either by direction or budget, and in the same thought, it has informed me on the necessity of humanitarian aid and peacekeeping in con [...]

Finished this book in two days Couldn t put it down What an amazing story of a man s strength, resilience and courage It makes you proud to be a human being, especially the ending How he found hope in this horrible mess is uplifting and encouraging I was afraid to read this book, and did skim some of the descriptions of atrocities, but I am so glad I read this book I encourage everyone to read it, especially in these troubled times Romeo Dallaire is a genuine hero though he may not see himself a [...]